Girlfriends

When I was in college I would get so mad when my best friend would ditch me to hang out with her boyfriend. But, I have to admit that once I was married I totally preferred my husband's company to that of women. And I'm sure I did some ditching of my own. I completely lost perspective on the value of girlfriends in my life.

My church would have a women's prayer group, or a women's midweek service and I never wanted to go. I think part of it is because I felt the need to compare myself to the other women there and feel inferior. But mostly it was because my husband was just everything to me. Why would I want to spend time with anyone else when he was sitting at home? Spending time with other women was almost never my first choice.

But, as my relationship with my husband deteriorated I realized that I needed something more. It turns out I'd always needed something more. I just hadn't noticed. But the day that I found out that I had received my hard-earned certification to teach childbirth classes, I reached for the phone, but didn't dial my husband's cell. I called one of my girlfriends. And she celebrated with me.

Since then I have learned so much about cultivating friendships. I have learned to listen and to give and to just be there. I have also learned to accept help, which may have been the hardest of all. I love being able to share my heart with another woman who will in turn offer compassion, or advice, or a new perspective.

There is a bond that we can have with only other women, especially women who share our deepest spiritual beliefs. As women we have so many emotional needs that no one person could possibly meet them, especially a man. So God generously and wisely provided girlfriends.