I had my birthday yesterday. The single mom birthdays hold some challenges. I do miss having someone to plan something special, or to surprise me with a gift. My ex-husband was great at gift-buying.
So, a couple of years ago I started buying myself a birthday and a Christmas present. It is never a surprise of course, but I can save up and get whatever I want most. At first it was hard to spend the money, and I felt a little silly. But I did it anyway. I figured that if I were still married, money would be spent for my birthday. Why should that change just because I'm single?
I even wrap them. And, no, I'm not surprised when I open them, But there is something about the act of ripping off the paper that just makes it more fun. And whatever I buy, whenever I buy it, I cannot use it or look at it until the big day.
One year I bought myself one of my favorite tv series on DVD for Christmas. (Ok, it was one of the Star Treks, but don't tell anyone.) I made myself wait to watch it until Christmas morning. And I was so glad that I did. My mother insists that we all try on our Christmas clothes and come show her so she can take a picture (yes, in every outfit). I hadn't been alone for that ritual in over a decade. But, I set up my portable DVD player and watched my new DVD while I tried on clothes alone and I wasn't lonely at all. I did have to pause it a lot as I ran up and down the stairs to show my clothes to my mom, but I didn't mind.
I think as single moms we have a choice. We can focus on the difficulties, and how lonely we feel, and wallow in self-pity. Or, we can be martyrs and focus on all that we do and how hard it is to do it. Or we can do what we can to take care of ourselves and enjoy our lives. So, why not buy yourself a gift? Save up, and enjoy!
