When I was married I was a fairly stereotypical homeschooler. Okay, I didn't actually wear denim jumpers. But I did bake my own bread. I decided I wanted to be like the Duggars and have a lot of children. I even considered having myself and all of my girls wear only dresses. My jeans-wearing 11-year-old would have hated that.
I wore my Birkenstocks to homeschool conventions with my baby strapped to me in the latest baby-wear carrier. I tried to find the perfect curriculum and get everything done.
I think what I was really looking for was the family I had always dreamed of. But I figured out that you can't have that if it isn't a common goal.
So, now I am divorced and I have had to redefine who I am as a homeschooler. Stereotypes are out. There is no such thing as a typical single homeschooler, at least not yet. So, I have abandoned being like the Duggars, although I have learned some parenting skills from them. I do bake homemade bread when I can find the time. And I will always wear my Birkenstocks.
But it is interesting now because I don't really feel like I fit in with the married homeschoolers I know. They just don't seem to get it. And I'm not sure I would trade places with them. I have been able to let go of so much of the pressure and expectations that burdened me. We have a limited amount of time to have school each day. When the time is over, we're done. Things don't have to be perfect. My children don't have to be perfect. And even I don't have to be perfect.
Through all of this I think I have become a better homeschooler and a better parent. It feels good to break the mold. And besides, most of us who decided to homeschool are about going against the grain anyway.
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