Friday Devotional - God's Plans

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

I have been really struggling with life lately. I know that the Bible says that God has plans for me, but I am struggling with the way things have turned out. Was it really God's plan for me to be divorced, trying to raise and educate four children completely on my own? Was it God's plan for me to receive no child support and no physical help at all from their father? Was it God's plan for me to live 10 minutes from my parents and brothers, yet hardly ever see them?

I have been feeling burned out and weary lately. I have been keeping up a busy pace for a long time. But, I am finding it harder and harder to maintain. And, my income is still not what I need to make ends meet, which means I need to do even more.

Jesus says that "my yoke is easy and my burden is light." The Bible also says that "God gently leads those that have young." These things just aren't adding up for me right now.

But, here's the truth: I can't even begin to understand God's perspective. Where my life is right now makes no sense to me, but my understanding is so limited. I can look back with a clear conscience and say that throughout all of this I have been really trying to discern God's will and to follow it. But, the treadmill just keeps going faster and faster.

I'm sure God is trying to teach me something. I think about people in the Bible and all that some of them had to go through for God to teach them. The Israelites spent generations in Egypt and then 40 years wandering in the desert. Moses tended sheep for decades before he was ready to fulfill God's purposes for his life. Jonah had what I imagine was quite a rough weekend inside a fish.

I wish I had some grand answer or insight to share to conclude this devotional, but I don't. All I know is that I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I will continue to pray for God's wisdom and guidance. Maybe God is showing me that I need to make some changes. In the meantime I will just keep doing the best that I can, and trying to keep a teachable heart while trusting that he will show me what he wants me to see.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9