I am a swimmer.

I am a writer.

I am the breadwinner for my family.

I wouldn't have believed any of this if you had told me three or four years ago. Life as I knew it had to crumble to the ground for me to discover any of this. But as I emerge from the wreckage, I am slowly discovering who I can be.

"In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Doing Things the Hard Way

This is one of my special talents. It took me a long time to realize it though. But a few years ago I was in the checkout line at the grocery store with four 12-packs of soda in my cart. There was a buy three, get one free sale or something. When I got to the checkout I loaded all four 12-packs onto the conveyor belt.

The person behind me, who was also taking advantage of the deal on soda, loaded one 12-pack on the conveyor belt and just mentioned to the checker that she had three more in her cart.

That was when I first realized that I tend to make things harder than they really need to be. But, I'm not sure its really such a bad thing.

Today at swim team practice I was sharing a lane with another woman. I noticed that she wore her fins throughout most of the practice. I didn't. With the extra push her fins provided, she sailed through much of the practice, making the time itervals with ease. While I, without my fins, really struggled and found myself out of breath more than once.

I could have made the practice much easier for myself by wearing my fins the whole time. But I'm not sure I would have felt that same sense of accomplishment. I think I find life more rewarding when I don't opt for the easiest path.

But, I do leave my extra 12-packs in my cart now.

Happiness is a Choice?

I remember my mom telling me about a book with this title a few years ago. I have never actually read it, but I have been thinking about the concept.

Is happiness really a choice? Abraham Lincoln thought so. "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be," he said. And while he did make a lasting impact on history, his life was really no picnic.

I've been noticing lately how much my perceptions and attitudes affect how I feel. Something happened in my life this week that was potentially upsetting. I shared the story with a couple of friends. One of them was shocked and even flabbergasted by what had happened. The other didn't really understand what the big deal was. They just perceived it differently.

Unfortunately, I did let this event affect me. I lost sleep over it and felt sad for several days. But did I really need to? Did I have to let something that I couldn't change hurt me that much?

I don't get to choose my emotional reaction to things. Emotions just happen. But I do get to choose whether or not I dwell on those emotions. I can choose how I spend my emotional energy and what I spend time thinking about.

So perhaps happiness is a choice. Jesus promised that "in this world you will have trouble." But perhaps we can choose whether or not we spend our time happy or sad. I don't think the choice is as easy as "I'll take the blue one." But when it comes down to it, perhaps happiness is something we can choose.

God Made You Special and He Loves You Very Much

Have you seen Veggie Tales? I love them. And I love their tagline.

God did make each one of us special. When was the last time you focused on that? It is so much easier to focus on what we don't like about ourselves. And our culture is more than happy to assist in that. Just take a look at the magazine covers next time you are in the check-out line. Are you stunningly beautiful? Independently wealthy? Driving the latest and greatest car? Madly in love with someone who is madly in love with you? Running your own Fortune 500 company?

Probably not. Perhaps your jeans are a size or two bigger than what you would like. Maybe you found a new grey hair this morning. Maybe your car is old and your love-life is a bit dull. Or maybe your job is anything but glamorous.

But, at your core, the very center of who you are, you are special. It doesn't matter what you look like or what kind of car you drive. It doesn't matter how you measure up in the world. What matters is that God created you exactly as he wanted you to be.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Psalm 139:14

So, the next time you are standing in line at the grocery store and notice the beautiful, wealthy people on the covers of the magazines remember, God made you special and he loves you very much.

It's All in How You Look at It

My dad had a lung transplant last September. And his recovery has been a rough road. In fact, next week he has to go back to the hospital (which is halfway across the country from where he lives) and have a chemo-type treatment for rejection.

I have been amazed by his attitude throughout this entire ordeal. Since his transplant just 7 months ago he has had RSV, pneumonia, a fungal infection, a nearly life-ending blood clot and rejection (twice). Yet, he remains hopeful and optimistic. I have yet to even hear him complain.

A few weeks ago I was at my parents' house for dinner. My dad was struggling at the time. He required constant supplemental oxygen and couldn't stand for very long. As he sat at the table with oxygen tubes in his nose, he explained to me that he has decided he would like to become a singer. He's not looking to be the next American Idol, but he would like to try out for his church choir.

This sounded fairly ridiculous to me, but I just listened. His next statement blew me away. "I think I'd have a real advantage over other beginners because I've learned to breathe with my diaphragm since the lung transplant."

This is why my dad will be around for 20 more years if he has any say in the matter. He's 73 years old, has a lung that didn't originally belong to him, is on oxygen and can't stand up for more than 10 minutes at a time. Yet he "has a real advantage" when it comes to singing in the choir.

How much of our success in life has to do with our perspective, with the way we view our situation? Are you a victim, or a conqueror?

Pizza and Mythbusters

Family traditions are important. Growing up, my family had a lot of them. There are even specific meals we would eat on specific holidays using specific recipes. My mom made sure that things were "just so."

As a single parent I think it is easy to lose sight of the importance of family traditions. Let's face it, most days we are just trying to make it. But, to the children in a single-parent home, I think traditions may be even more important. Their lives have likely been rocked a bit and they need stability.

So, in our family we have pizza and Mythbusters. I have no doubt that my children will remember this even as adults. It is something that we all love, even me. We rarely eat out or pick up food, so getting pizza is a real treat. And when we eat pizza, we always have a living room picnic and watch Mythbusters. In fact, we aren't allowed to watch it (except on rare occasions) unless we have pizza to go with it. And we wouldn't even consider pizza without watching the show.

We have other traditions as well. We finally read together each night before bed. This is something I always wanted to do, but could never seem to manage. But, now we have read the entire 'Little House' series and are almost through 'The Chronicles of Narnia.' It is cheaper than pizza and is really quite easy to keep up with. But, again it provides stability for my kids. And I have no doubt that they will always remember these things as special family traditions.

What to do tonight?

I really like evenings. I have heard that other single moms get lonely at night, but gratefully, I rarely do. Once my kids are in bed and the house is quiet I can choose what I want to do without compromise. And that is an advantage that married people just don't have.

I don't have to watch someone else's tv show. I can read if I want to, as late as I want to, with the light on in my room. I can go to bed early, or stay up late. I can even watch a chick-flick for the thousandth time if I choose. Once my kids are in bed I don't have anyone else wanting my time, attention, or energy.

Maybe I'll take a bubble bath.